if you don't, i don't know what i'll do (say you love me too)
by danahscott
Summary: requested on tumblr: Farkle notices that Riley has been off lately and he tries to get to the bottom of it by asking non-stop questions. Riley tries to answer as best as she can, but she can't tell him the real reason she's upset. Riley is in love with Farkle and he is seemingly interested in someone else.


It would have taken him longer to notice if he didn't know Riley so well. At first, he thought it was just a cold. But when Riley was sick, she always stayed home, usually binge-watched romcoms and texted all her friends how much she missed them. This was different - lasting longer. There were dark circles under her eyes, and she seemed to have lost some of her appetite. Whenever Farkle sat down for lunch, she'd start playing with her food, pushing it around on her tray and glancing furtively up at him like she could feel his eyes on her, which she probably could.

And then there was the whispering. Every now and then, Riley would frown and then lean in and whisper something into Maya's ear. Maya would roll her eyes and say, "Bay window," to which Riley would nod, solemnly. That wasn't _that _unusual, but the secrecy was. Talking to Riley, at least, wasn't much different from how it usually was. Maybe she was a little evasive, but he only noticed because it was easy to read Riley. After all, he'd known her for years.

But by week two of this, Farkle figured it was time to speak up. He was slipping some books back into his locker when he spotted Lucas. "Hey, heading to Chem?"

"Yeah," Lucas said.

"Great. It's on my way to Bio." It wasn't. But Farkle had a question. "Has Riley seemed weird to you lately?"

"Riley always seems weird to me," Lucas responded, with a fond smile.

"Right, but, has she seemed off?"

Lucas raised an eyebrow. "Nope, same old Riley. Why?"

Farkle ignored the question and countered with another one. "You two haven't had a fight or anything, have you? I know you said that the break up was -"

"Mutual," Lucas cut him off. "Yeah. It was." They'd arrived at Lucas' class, but Farkle still didn't feel satisfied. Lucas seemed to sense this, so he lingered by the door too. After a moment, he sighed and clapped a hand to Farkle's shoulder. "Hey. Stop worrying. Just go for it." Then, he paused for a moment, and said quietly, not quite meeting Farkle's eyes, "Besides, I like someone else." Then, he disappeared through the door, leaving Farkle to wonder what the hell any of that meant.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

Then, there was the bay window incident. That drove Farkle from vague worry to full-blown concern. He had gone to check on Riley, see if maybe she had some things she wanted to talk through, when he heard her voice through the open window. "I just don't know what to do," she told Maya, sniffling. And then - was Maya crying too? Farkle realized she wasn't at the same time Riley did. "Stop laughing! I'm talking about my feelings!"

"I know, but they're your feelings for -"

Farkle interrupted, climbing through the window. "Riley, what's wrong?" But before she could respond, Maya's boot was planted in the center of Farkle's chest, leaving him sprawled out on the fire escape. As he got up, he heard the window lock click into place.

"Ring power only!" came Maya's muffled yell through the window. Riley seemed frozen, her watery eyes locked onto Farkle's. Well. There was no getting rid of him that easily. He knocked sharply on the glass.

"You can't hide from me, Riley! I know something's wrong! I just want to help!" He didn't mean for it to come out so angry, but sometimes that was what it was to care about somebody.

At Farkle's words, Riley's eyes flicked towards Maya with alarm. Maya just rolled her eyes, looked at Farkle and said, "She'll talk to you tomorrow," before closing the blinds. And Farkle waited out there for ten more minutes, but it soon became clear no one was coming out, so he just went back home.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

The next morning, Farkle was waiting for Riley at her locker, and even though she sighed, there was that crinkle, that warmth in her eyes that said she was happy to see him. "Riley," he said.

"Hi, Farkle. Have a nice night?"

"No, actually. I was too busy worrying about my friend."

She was silent for a moment before turning to him, fighting a small smile. "You were worried about me?"

"Of course I was. I still am. Riley, do you remember the last time something was wrong and you wouldn't tell anyone about it?"

She pursed her lips. Of course she remembered. "Eighth grade."

"When someone was bullying you."

"Farkle, this isn't like that. I promise," she said quietly. And though that did little to soothe his worries, he believed her. He believed that Riley wouldn't lie to him and that he knew her well enough to tell if she was.

"Fine. But something's wrong. Will you at least admit that?"

"Okay. Fine!" Riley said, slightly exasperated. He could tell because her cheeks were getting red. He'd always thought that was cute. "Yes, something's wrong. But I need to handle this on my own." Farkle raised his eyebrows. "Okay, Maya and I need to handle this on my own." She paused, taking a step closer to him. "And I need you to trust me."

Farkle answered without thinking. "And I want you to know you can trust _me_."

Riley smiled, blushing deeply. She looked so pretty like that, all pink and flushed. "I do know that."

"Riley-" Farkle started, breath hitching, but then he saw Smackle across the hall. "There's Smackle. I gotta go. I still want to talk about this, though, okay?"  
As he turned, he saw Riley's face fall out of the corner of his eye. He wanted to trust her, but it was hard to know there was a problem she wouldn't tell him about. He thought they could tell each other anything. "Hey, Isadora," he said, trying to shake himself out of his thoughts. "How was the movie we saw last night?"

Smackle didn't miss a beat. "Some scientific inaccuracies, but a fascinating look on the future of artificial intelligence. We both knew how it would end, of course, but we still enjoyed it very much."

"And how was it actually?"

"Zay grabbed my hand so hard I thought he was going to break it. He said he was never letting me pick a movie again."

"Think he'll stick to it?"  
"Well, he said that after we'd watched _Us_, too." She flashed Farkle a grin. "He says he forgets how to say no to me."

"I know," Farkle groaned. "He told me that too."  
"He also can't tell you no?" Smackle teased.

"I'm serious! How long until we can tell everyone the truth? I cannot be Zay's only outlet. You are all he wants to talk about."

"As soon as I've gathered all the data I need."  
"Data?"

"Zay can't keep a secret, we all know that. So the longer he keeps this one-"

"The more into you he is?" Farkle was flabbergasted. "Smackle, are you testing your boyfriend?" Then another, frightening thought struck him. "Did you test me?"

"Don't worry. You passed." Then she walked past him to her Anatomy.

"Smackle!" He called after her. "What does that mean?"

"Trouble in paradise?" a voice sounded behind him. He spun around to see Maya leaning against a locker looking vaguely interested, vaguely concerned.

"Isadora and I are fine. I want to know what's wrong with Riley." Maybe his conversation with Smackle didn't do as good a job at distracting him as he'd hoped.

Maya rolled her eyes. "You'll have to ask her that."

"I did. She won't tell me anything."

"Farkle, I'm gonna put this as nicely as possible. Riley needs a hole in her head more than she needs you to get involved."  
"Actually, I feel like you could have put that nicer." He sighed, closing his eyes. "Do I need to be worried?"

"No."

"You got her?"

"I got her."

"Okay then." And it _was _okay, because there were few people in the world Farkle trusted more than Maya Hart.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

A week passed and not much had changed. Riley still seemed off, but was keeping tight-lipped on the reason. Zay, miraculously, was still keeping his relationship with Smackle secret, which meant so was Farkle. Life seemed settled into a rhythm, though an uncomfortable one, uncomfortable for as long as Riley wouldn't talk to him about what really mattered. But she wanted space, so Farkle gave it to her. It didn't mean he didn't want to see her, though. So, late one night, he made the familiar walk to Riley's fire escape. They didn't have to talk about what was bothering her. They could just talk.

But of course, Maya was already there. And Farkle didn't mean to eavesdrop, but there he was. "Riles, I think you need to talk to him."

"But what about Smackle?"

"This isn't about her. This is about you and your feelings. Just let it be about that." Smackle? What did Smackle have to do with anything?

There was a long pause. Farkle wished he could see inside the room. Finally, Riley blurted out,"But I'm scared!"

He could picture Maya's face as he heard her sigh, softening in the way it only did for Riley. "If you wait until you're not scared, you'll be waiting forever. I think you're supposed to be scared of things like this."

As the girls lapsed into silence, Farkle figured it was now or never. He knocked softly on the windowpane. "Can I come in?"

"Oh look!" Maya said, in a stilted voice, clearly fighting a grin. "I suddenly have to go to the bathroom and will not be back for a long, long time." And then she was gone and Farkle was alone with Riley in the bay window and suddenly, somehow, he knew that something important was going to happen, something was going to change, maybe for forever, and then he inexplicably felt very scared too.

"Something's still going on," he said. It wasn't a question.

"Yes," Riley said, looking down at her hands.

"Do you think you can tell me what it is?" He knew she might say no, and he would accept it if he did.

"I don't really know how to say it."

Farkle slid his hand over hers. "You can just say it."

Riley looked up, meeting his eyes, and though he knew she was still upset, she smiled at him and it was as it always was: radiant, like it was the sun itself and not Riley smiling, giving him light. That was how he knew that no matter what she said, she was going to be okay, because she remained undimmed. "You're right that I've been off lately. It's just because," she took a deep breath, "I'm in love with someone who's in love with someone else."

Silence hung in the air for a moment. Finally, Lucas' cryptic words made sense. "I knew it. I knew it was Lucas."

"What - how did you know?" Riley asked, looking puzzled.

"That you still like Lucas? It's pretty obvious."

"No, that Lucas likes Maya."

"He does?"

Riley's eyes widened. "I thought you knew! Oh, Maya's going to kill me. Lucas told Maya they shouldn't tell me, but Maya said I'd do a really good job at keeping this one secret, and now -"

"Wait. You don't like Lucas?"

"The breakup was mutual," Riley said, shaking her head. The whole Lucas and Maya dating in secret thing had really thrown Farkle for a loop, but he tried to keep his focus on the issue at hand.

"So if it's not Lucas, then who -" Oh. It all made sense now. "You're in love with Zay!"

Riley's eyes widened. "What? Wait. Who is Zay in love with?"

"You were just talking to Maya about Smackle!"

"Zay's in love with Smackle? Aren't _you _dating Smackle?"

Shit. "Oh, uh… Yes?" No, there was no way he could pull this off. "I mean, no. I've been helping Zay and Smackle keep it secret." Riley was shaking her head, dumbfounded. Farkle was desperately trying to keep the thread. "So, who are you -"

"I'm in love with you, you idiot!"

Oh. In hindsight, that made a lot of sense. And he was supposed to be a genius. (But of course he didn't dare to consider it, to even begin to think it, because he could never imagine a world miraculous enough where Riley Matthews loved him back.)

"Are you going to say something?" Riley asked. She was looking at her hands, fidgeting.

"Sorry, this is usually the part where I wake up, so -"

"Oh," she interrupted him, hope displayed proudly on her face. "So you -"

"Of course I do, Riley. Of _course _I do."

"Oh." And then her face broke open into the most wonderful grin and Farkle could feel the room get warmer. He was still scared. When he leaned in and kissed her, he was downright terrified, but in an exhilarated sort of way. A top-of-the-rollercoaster, flying-off-the-swingset, diving-into-the-deep-end, kissing-Riley-Matthews sort of way.

He didn't think his heart rate would ever go back to normal again. (He really, really hoped not.)

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

School on Monday was interesting. Riley and Farkle had to admit that they were dating, and then subsequently, that they'd blabbed their friends' secrets in the process of getting together. Lucas and Maya were appropriately stunned at the Zay-Smackle revelation, whereas Zay just said "Finally," to the Lucas-Maya revelation and Smackle said, "That was supposed to be a secret?"

"I think it's important to note that I was not the one who spilled the beans," Zay said, and Smackle grinned, winking at him. Though he did lean towards Farkle and whisper, "Thanks, man. Two more days and I would have cracked."

Maya looked at Lucas, sighing. "Well, I guess we both know what we have to do now." Lucas raised his eyebrows. "It's no fun now that it's not secret anymore. We had a good run, though. Shake hands and part ways?"

He looked at Maya's outstretched hand. "Oh, uh. O-okay," he said, grabbing it.

Maya rolled her eyes, grinning. "God, you're such a Huckleberry." And then she pulled him to her and kissed him. Farkle could see Lucas melt, both in relief and into her.

"Excuse me!" Zay protested. "Just because you're not hiding anymore does not mean you can start locking lips whenever you feel like it!"

Maya pulled away, blushing and happy, so happy. How could Farkle not have noticed it before? Well, maybe he was too busy noticing someone else. "Disappointed you and Riley never got your own secret rendezvous, Farkle?" Maya asked him, a little breathless.

"No. I'd tell the whole world about it if I could."

He felt Riley's fingers shyly tugging at his own. He turned to her and her voice was soft and sacred. "Then just tell me."


End file.
